No regrets, just lessons, this is my realization

When do we start to convince ourselves that we have matured? That we have grown up? Is it everytime we learn a lesson, or when we believe we've just survived something tramatic? Who is to say what "grown up" is anyway? When is it that we have "grown up"? Does that mean we are boring? Do we ever really "grow up"? Does that mean we are expected to always make the correct decision? I don't ever want to grow up. I want to live my life constantly learning. Not exactly making mistakes, but "grown up" sounds so unappealing to me. I am on a quest for wisdom, a quest for life, a quest to be everything that everyone is not. Lately my ambitions have been clouded by loud music, boos, and cigarette smoke. I have no excuse, and I place the blame on noone but myself. I want so much more from life than I have been portraying. I have become like everyone else. This will stop. There's a time for play, but I don't want to ever lose sight of who I am again. The rage I have hung onto, is indeed, a part of me I cannot lie..I am in control of my own actions, but I will not hang onto this anger forever. I have, in the past few days, felt a weight taken off my shoulders. That cloud is rising from my view. This life is for me to lead, not for him to control. I am better than this. I possess my own thoughts and actions. I will grow from this entire experience. I regret nothing.

Kisses to talk about

Kiss me with sweet words...
Throw my heart and my lungs off beat...
Sweep me off my feet...
Make me lose key...

Gambling without money...

As I boggle and jitter about like dice,

could it be that my luck is quickly running out?

Could it be that I have lost my self restraint?

Las Vegas is not my name,

and gambling does not run naturally through my veins.

Snatching up the dice before time runs out,

before I come to a stand still,

seeing before my eyes the dissapointing result.

True, I am not YET an adult,

and I clearly realize now, gambling indeed,

is not the life I wish to lead...

is NOT the life I wish to lead...

for forever.

those books you swear would never be worth it

Open me up like an old book with a tattered spine,
careful though,
as I may fall apart quite easily.
If your someone with that capability,
I promise I'm a good read.

taking flight

It's a good day for a hot air balloon ride,
to be part of the vastness of blue skies;
floating nowhere,
beyond the limits and beyond the boundaries of closed minds.
I am a dreamer.
I want a day to let my mind carry me
higher than the capabilities of mankind.
However, that balloon ride would still,
make my day.
So my pretty darling, take me there?
Lay in a field of grass or wildflowers with me?
We can float away harmoniously to our own little melody.
:)

fierce wings

...I'm only venting...nothing fantastic or super.

I soar smoothly with wide-spread wings.

try as you will,

I will not be shot down;

left to struggle the light winds?

no;

higher baby, higher.

you see not what I see,

for I am above your petty storm.

clearly baby, clearly.

Scattered

What are you?

and

What am I?

I honestly believe we as people make things harder for ourselves than they need to be, or really are. Fact is, we are ALL in search of our own happiness, and sometimes that means tears...it means pain...it means learning...it means obligations and accomplishing the impossible to prove that it IS infact possible. It means surviving. What is so hard about just surviving?

Brains are our downfall.

Emotions. Thoughts. Analizations.

I find myself thinking alot of times that we make ourselves out to be something we are not. We are just animals who happen to posess this over-analytical piece of matter, yet we believe to be superior to the universe. Who is to say we as people are just part of an "ant farm" to something/somewhere bigger?

Why do we strive so hard to make life filled with happiness? filled with meaning? All we do is live, and then we die. Why is it so important we leave a legacy? What is the point of human beings at all...or anything else for that matter? What are we a part of?

Shooting stars. Laughing babies. Neon Green.

Smiling faces. Coffee with cream.

nonsense or clarity?

we choose what we see; we choose what we believe.

open your eyes and open your mind.

This isn't unreal,

This doesn't have to be real.